OHTANI HAS A $700 MILLION CONTRACT… AND WE’RE WORRIED ABOUT HIS OPT-OUT?!

So apparently we need to have a national emergency because Mark Walter sold part of the Lakers.

STOP THE PRESSES!

Somebody call Shohei Ohtani!

Somebody check his luggage!

Is Ohtani standing outside Dodger Stadium with a U-Haul saying, “Welp… guess I’m going to free agency!”

According to reports, Ohtani has a “key man” clause in his contract that could allow him to opt out if Mark Walter sells his stake in the Dodgers.

And naturally, the internet immediately went:

“OH MY GOD! IS OHTANI LEAVING THE DODGERS?”

Relax.

Everybody needs to take a deep breath.

This is Shohei Ohtani we're talking about.

The man has a 10-year, $700 MILLION CONTRACT.

And somehow we're worried he's going to wake up one morning and say:

“You know what? Seven hundred million isn't enough. I don't like the wallpaper in the clubhouse. I'M OUT!”

COME ON!

Ohtani isn't exactly sitting around eating frozen pizza wondering how he's going to pay his electric bill.

This guy makes an insane amount of money in endorsements.

He basically sneezes and somebody puts a logo on it.

And let's remember something else:

Ohtani already showed us that maximizing every last dollar isn't necessarily his obsession.

He agreed to defer almost the entire $700 million contract.

ONLY $20 MILLION is being paid during the first 10 years.

That's not a typo.

Shohei basically told the Dodgers:

“Don't worry about paying me now. Go spend the money and build me a freaking superteam.”

And what did the Dodgers do?

They went shopping like a billionaire with a Black Card.

They built a baseball Avengers team.

Then Ohtani joined them and won back-to-back MVPs and back-to-back championships.

So now we're supposed to believe he's looking at all of this and saying:

“Yeah, but Mark Walter sold part of the Lakers. I'm leaving.”

NO!

If anything, Ohtani probably wants the Dodgers to keep doing exactly what they're doing.

Spend money.

Get players.

Win championships.

Build the Death Star.

And let Shohei keep hitting home runs, pitching, collecting MVP trophies and cashing endorsement checks.

And here's the funniest part.

If the Dodgers eventually ARE sold and Ohtani technically has the ability to opt out, the report says he's still unlikely to do it.

WHY?

Because he already has what every superstar wants.

Money.

Winning.

Stability.

And an organization willing to spend like their owner accidentally left the credit card at Costco.

The Dodgers aren't some rebuilding franchise asking Ohtani to be patient.

They're not telling him:

“Shohei, we're excited about our young prospects. Maybe in 2029 we'll compete.”

NO!

They're saying:

“Who do you want?”

And then they go get him.

That's a pretty good relationship.

So this whole Ohtani opt-out story feels like everybody looking for a fire because they saw smoke coming from somebody else's kitchen.

Mark Walter sold the Lakers.

That's a Lakers story.

The Dodgers CEO Stan Kasten basically said the same thing.

The Dodgers aren't being sold.

There are no contemplated changes.

So why are we acting like Ohtani is already standing at the airport?

The guy has two championships, two MVPs, $700 million coming his way, and a Dodgers organization that apparently has more money than common sense.

If I'm Ohtani, I'm staying right where I am.

And if the Dodgers ever get sold?

I'm sure Shohei will take his time, look around and say:

“Whoever owns this thing… are they willing to spend $300 million on another pitcher?”

If the answer is yes?

“Great. Where do I sign?”

That's the real story.

Ohtani isn't going anywhere.

And even if he technically could?

Let's be honest.

He's probably going to negotiate another giant deferred contract that makes the Dodgers' accountants develop a drinking problem.

Because that's what this is really about.

Shohei Ohtani isn't chasing baseball's biggest paycheck anymore.

He's chasing baseball immortality.

And right now, Los Angeles is giving him exactly what he wants.

So everybody can stop panicking.

Put the U-Haul away.

Cancel the emergency meeting.

And somebody tell baseball Twitter:

SHOHEI AIN'T GOING NOWHERE!

He's got championships to win, home runs to hit, MVP trophies to collect and approximately 47,000 endorsement commercials to film.

The man is busy.