PETE ALONSO CAME BACK TO QUEENS… AND TOOK THE METS WITH HIM!

Pete Alonso came back to Citi Field this week and apparently decided he wasn’t interested in being a polite guest.

You know that friend who comes back to your house after you kicked him out, eats your food, sleeps on your couch and then leaves with the TV?

Yeah.

That’s Pete Alonso right now.

The former Mets slugger absolutely torched his old team Wednesday night, launching another home run as the Baltimore Orioles completed a three-game sweep of the Mets with a 7-1 beatdown.

At this point, somebody needs to check the Mets clubhouse for a restraining order, because Pete keeps coming back to Queens and hurting feelings.

And Mets fans? They’re booing David Stearns, cheering Pete Alonso and basically having an emotional breakdown in the same building.

PETE SAID: “YOU DIDN’T WANT ME? COOL.”

Alonso hit his 300th career home run Tuesday night at Citi Field, tying the game in the ninth inning before Baltimore eventually won in extra innings.

Then Wednesday?

First inning.

BOOM.

Alonso launched one 410 feet into the second deck.

Goodbye baseball. Hello, emotional damage.

The Mets fans had actually given Pete a huge ovation before his first at-bat. Then he went out and hit a home run against their team.

That’s not a welcome-home party. That’s an ex-boyfriend walking into the wedding and catching the bouquet.

And the funniest part is Pete isn’t even acting like he’s trying to rub it in. He’s basically saying, “Guys, I’m just trying to win.”

Meanwhile, Mets fans are sitting there thinking:

“PETE, WE KNOW! THAT’S THE PROBLEM!”

THE METS GOT SWEPT… BY THEIR EX

Baltimore came into Queens and took all three games.

Alonso had only two hits in the series.

Unfortunately for the Mets, both of them were home runs.

So Pete basically went, “I’m only going to get two hits, but I’m going to make them hurt.”

That’s efficiency.

And it’s the kind of thing that has Mets fans staring at the scoreboard, asking themselves:

“Wait… did we really let this guy leave?”

Yep.

You did.

And now he’s wearing orange and black for somebody else.

FIVE ALL-STAR TEAMS. 264 METS HOME RUNS. GONE.

Alonso spent seven seasons with the Mets, hitting 264 home runs, making five All-Star teams and becoming one of the most recognizable players in franchise history.

Then the Mets didn’t bring him back last offseason.

Baltimore did.

Five years. $155 million.

And now, with September baseball here, Alonso is helping Baltimore chase a playoff spot while the Mets are already eliminated.

That’s one of those baseball situations where you don’t even need to make the joke.

The joke is already sitting right there.

AND THEN CAME THE “FIRE STEARNS” CHANTS

Tuesday night, after Alonso hit No. 300, Mets fans gave him a curtain call.

Then the crowd started chanting:

“FIRE STEARNS!”

Only in New York can a guy hit a historic home run and somehow the crowd turns it into a performance review for the president of baseball operations.

Pete is standing there getting a standing ovation while David Stearns is probably watching somewhere thinking, “Can everybody please stop making this about me?”

Sorry, David.

It’s New York.

When the team is losing, everything becomes about you.

PETE STILL LOVES THE PEOPLE IN QUEENS

Here’s the part that makes the whole thing a little more interesting.

Pete wasn’t just hanging around with his former teammates. He was catching up with clubhouse workers, kitchen staff, parking attendants, security and other people he had gotten to know during his seven years with the organization.

That’s the Pete Alonso people in New York remember.

After the game, he even embraced longtime Mets radio voice Howie Rose, who is retiring after the season.

Pete basically spent three days walking around Citi Field saying goodbye to everybody while repeatedly reminding the Mets why they probably shouldn’t have let him go.

That’s cold.

But that’s baseball.

SO WHAT’S THE REAL STORY?

Pete Alonso isn’t coming back to New York looking for revenge.

He’s trying to win.

He’s chasing the playoffs, and he’s doing it while putting together another huge season with 37 home runs, 102 RBIs and an .864 OPS.

But let’s be honest.

The timing could not be more hilarious.

The Mets are eliminated. Pete is chasing October. Mets fans are cheering Pete. Mets fans are booing Stearns.

And Pete Alonso is hitting home runs against his former team like he’s collecting rent.

New York gave Alonso a three-day homecoming, and he left Queens with two home runs, a three-game sweep and a whole lot of Mets fans asking the same question:

“WHY THE HELL DID WE LET THIS GUY WALK?”

That’s the story.

And if you’re a Mets fan, I’m sorry.

But I’m also laughing.

Because this is exactly the kind of baseball chaos that makes New York baseball so damn entertaining.

Pete came home. Pete got cheered. Pete hit bombs. Pete got his flowers.

And the Mets?

They got swept.

Welcome back, Polar Bear.