2026 NBA Draft: Thirty Teams, Sixty Picks, and Fifty Fan Bases Already Planning the Parade

The 2026 NBA Draft is officially over, which means NBA fans have entered that magical time of year when everybody thinks they got a future Hall of Famer and nobody wants to hear the truth.

The Wizards drafted AJ Dybantsa, and suddenly Washington fans are pricing championship tattoos.

The Jazz drafted Darryn Peterson, and Utah fans are already comparing him to Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, and Jesus.

The Grizzlies drafted Cameron Boozer, and Memphis fans are acting like they just stole Fort Knox. To be fair, they might have. The kid looks like he's been playing grown-man basketball since he was old enough to spell "basketball."

That said, my favorite part of every NBA Draft isn't the picks. It's the complete loss of sanity afterward.

For the next three months every fan base becomes a scouting expert. For example, a guy who couldn't identify a pick-and-roll if it ran him over in a crosswalk is suddenly breaking down wingspan measurements and discussing "positional versatility."

Shut up, Steve. You watched three YouTube highlights and half of them were against future accountants.

The Wizards took AJ Dybantsa No. 1 overall, and honestly, if this kid becomes what scouts think he can become, then Washington might finally stop rebuilding sometime before humans colonize Mars. The talent is ridiculous. The scoring is ridiculous. The upside is ridiculous. The Wizards' ability to screw up good things? Also historically ridiculous.

Utah grabbed Darryn Peterson at No. 2. This kid can flat-out score. And let's be honest, after watching some of the Jazz offenses over the last few years, seeing somebody create his own shot probably felt like witnessing a UFO landing in Salt Lake City.

Then Memphis took Cameron Boozer. Can somebody explain to me why every year basketball people try to outsmart themselves? The kid wins everywhere. Produces everywhere. Dominates everywhere. Yet every draft nerd spends six months looking for imaginary flaws like they're trying to find Bigfoot.

Sometimes the answer is simple: Each good player in that room is good, so draft what you need, and see how he fits the team.

Now let's get to Brooklyn. The Nets took Mikel Brown Jr. over Darius Acuff, which means we have officially launched the next great New York sports debate.

Knicks fans will argue.

Nets fans will argue.

Sports radio callers will argue.

A guy named Tony from Staten Island will call six different shows this week demanding everyone be fired.

The Knicks selected Jack Kayil and Tyler Nickel later in the draft, which means Knicks Twitter has already convinced itself they found the next Manu Ginobili, Klay Thompson, and Nikola Jokic rolled into one player.

By next week somebody will post a seven-minute highlight video with dramatic music and the comments section will declare him untouchable in trade talks. We've seen this movie before.

And then there's Boston. The Celtics drafted Chris Cenac Jr. and Dillon Mitchell. Within five minutes, Boston fans had already created seventeen spreadsheets, four pie charts, and a documentary explaining why both players are future All-Stars. In other words, nobody celebrates a draft pick quite like Boston. The player could average six points a game, and Celtics fans would tell you he's impacting winning in ways the naked eye simply can't comprehend.

Here's the reality nobody wants to hear: Half of these draft grades are going to look completely ridiculous in three years.

Some A+ pick will flop.

Some second-round pick will become a star.

One guy nobody talked about will end up making three All-Star teams.

And every draft expert who got it wrong will magically pretend they predicted it all along.

That's the draft.

It's Christmas morning for NBA fans. Everybody opens the box hoping they got a PlayStation. Sometimes it's a PlayStation, sometimes it's socks, and sometimes it's the New York Jets of draft picks (You talk yourself into it for six months before realizing you've made a terrible mistake.)

Welcome to the NBA, rookies, and good luck. You're going to need it more than half the general managers who just drafted you.