FOR THESE TICKET PRICES, I BETTER BE PLAYING POINT GUARD FOR THE KNICKS!

Knicks fans, I need somebody to explain this to me.

We've waited decades for this moment. We've survived bad basketball, bad draft picks, bad coaches, and enough heartbreak to qualify for group therapy. The Knicks are finally back in the NBA Finals, and Madison Square Garden is louder than a New York subway car at rush hour.

Then I looked at the ticket prices, and I nearly fell out of my chair.

The cheapest ticket for Game 3 was around $7,000. SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS! For $7,000, I don't want a ticket. I want partial ownership of the franchise. At that price, James Dolan better be meeting me at the front door with a Knicks jersey, a steak dinner, and a thank-you card.

Josh Hart called the prices ridiculous. (Josh, that's being nice.) "Ridiculous" is paying $30 for a beer. This is just financial assault.

For $7,000, I don't want a seat in the arena. I want a seat on the bench. Matter of fact, put me in uniform.

If I'm paying $7,000 for a ticket, Mike Brown better have me listed as "Questionable" on the injury report and ready to check-in during the fourth quarter. I didn't come this far just to watch. Put me in, Coach! I may be 0-for-1 with two pulled hamstrings in three minutes, but I'm getting in that game.

And don't even get me started on the courtside seats. Some of those tickets are over $95,000. Ninety-five thousand dollars?! For that price, Jalen Brunson better let me call a timeout, challenge a referee's decision, and help Mike Brown draw up the final play.

Forget sitting courtside. For $95,000, I should be sitting IN the huddle. Matter of fact, for $95,000, I should be giving the halftime speech.

Then there's Timothée Chalamet. The man has been a Knicks fan forever. He started out in the nosebleeds, and now he's sitting courtside every game looking like he's one signature away from buying the team.

Meanwhile, the rest of us are refreshing StubHub every five minutes like we're trying to win Powerball. We're all hoping somebody accidentally posts a Finals ticket for $95 instead of $9,500.

The craziest part? People are actually buying these tickets. Every time I say, "Nobody's paying that," some hedge fund manager in Manhattan buys four of them before finishing breakfast.

I understand supply and demand, but there are Knicks fans who have suffered for 30 years. Fans who watched every painful season. Fans who sat through lineups that should've been investigated by the FBI. And now they can't get into the building unless they're delivering DoorDash. And if you do get inside? God bless you. You'll need another loan for a soda, a hot dog, and a souvenir T-shirt. By the end of the night, you're checking your credit score more than the box score.

Look, if somebody offered me a Finals ticket right now, I'd be at Madison Square Garden so fast my GPS would think I got kidnapped. But until then, I'll be watching from my couch. The tickets are free. The beer is affordable. The bathroom line is six seconds long. And nobody is charging me the price of a luxury SUV just to yell, "LET'S GO KNICKS!"

One thing is for sure: Whether you're sitting courtside next to Timothée Chalamet or sitting at home in your lucky Knicks sweatpants that haven't been washed since Round 1, we're all rooting for the same thing: two more wins.

And if the Knicks actually pull this off? The championship parade might be the only thing in New York that's still free.

LET'S GO KNICKS!