Brad Stevens Pulled a Godfather... But Instead of Sleeping With the Fishes, Jaylen Brown Woke Up in Philly!
Brad Stevens thought he was the Godfather, but now he's sleeping with the fishes as Jaylen Brown is now in a rival family... Bill Simmons might have accidentally created the greatest NBA movie crossover since Space Jam, and honestly, I hate how much sense it makes.
On his podcast, Simmons read a fan's theory comparing Celtics President Brad Stevens to Michael Corleone from The Godfather. At first I laughed, then I stopped laughing and realized, "Oh no, this lunatic might actually be onto something."
The comparison starts with Stevens reluctantly taking over Boston's front office after coaching the Celtics, kind of like Michael Corleone wanting nothing to do with the family business before realizing, "Well...I guess I'm running organized basketball now."
Then came the hits:
Robert Williams III? Gone.
Marcus Smart? Sleeping with the fishes.
Celtics fans cried harder than Fredo when Michael gave him that kiss. But Brad Stevens didn't blink. Why? Because championships don't care about your feelings.
Trading Smart brought Kristaps Porzingis.
Trading Robert Williams helped land Jrue Holiday.
Everyone screamed Boston had lost its mind, and then the Celtics won the NBA Championship, and Brad Stevens looked like a genius.
Now fast forward to this summer...Now comes what Simmons called Godfather Part III. Only instead of Sofia Coppola getting criticized, it's Jaylen Brown getting shipped to Philadelphia. Talk about an abrupt ending.
Brown wasn't washed. He wasn't declining. The guy just averaged 28.7 points, nearly seven rebounds and over five assists, made All-NBA Second Team, finished sixth in MVP voting, and was smack in the middle of his prime. That's like trading your Lamborghini because you're hoping Ferrari calls you back.
Boston chased Giannis Antetokounmpo harder than I chase a pizza after midnight. Everything reportedly revolved around Brown being the centerpiece. Then Milwaukee looked at Boston's offer, then looked at Miami's offer, and basically said, "Yeah... we're taking South Beach."
Swing. Miss. Strike three.
Now you're standing at the altar without a bride. Instead of simply saying, "Well, let's run it back," Brad Stevens doubled-down and traded Brown anyway...to Philadelphia. That's like breaking up with Margot Robbie because you think Sydney Sweeney is interested...only to get rejected...and then immediately start dating your ex's cousin just so you don't look embarrassed.
Congratulations. You played yourself.
The Celtics landed Paul George along with a pair of first-round picks and two second-rounders, but this deal feels different than Stevens' previous masterpieces.
Marcus Smart was the heart.
Robert Williams was the soul.
Jaylen Brown? He was one-half of the Celtics' entire identity.
This wasn't trimming the hedges. This was bulldozing the house. Bill Simmons has spent months talking about how the NBA's second-apron salary rules are forcing championship teams to make impossible decisions. Maybe he's right. Maybe Brad Stevens saw financial Armageddon coming, or maybe he just started believing his own magic trick. Every poker player eventually convinces himself he can bluff everyone, even though they're just holding a pair of twos. Every blackjack player thinks the next hand is guaranteed to hit. Every fantasy football owner thinks this is finally the year they draft perfectly. Brad Stevens built enormous credibility because almost every gamble worked. But eventually every casino reminds you that the house always wins.
Now Celtics fans are sitting around wondering if Brad Stevens is still directing The Godfather or if he's accidentally making Fast & Furious 14. Because one thing is certain: If Jaylen Brown starts dropping 35 points every time Boston comes to town, then Brad Stevens isn't going to need witness protection. He's going to need Celtics fans to put him in it.