BEN SIMMONS GOT HIS ATHLETICISM BACK… SOMEONE CHECK THE WARRANTY!
Ben Simmons got his "athleticism" back, but for what? OH, HERE WE GO!
Ben Simmons is reportedly getting interest from several NBA teams this offseason, and according to his godfather, David Patrick, the former No. 1 overall pick has “regained his athleticism.”
EXCUSE ME?!
BEN SIMMONS?!
THE BEN SIMMONS?!
The same Ben Simmons we've been watching for the last several years who looked like his body filed for early retirement?!
Now we're being told the man has REGAINED HIS ATHLETICISM?!
Listen, I need to see the receipt.
I need the doctor's report.
I need the MRI.
I need the mechanic who worked on this thing.
Because if Ben Simmons actually got his athleticism back, somebody in Miami has discovered the NBA Fountain of Youth.
Forget South Beach.
Apparently Ben Simmons found South Bench and came back rejuvenated!
His godfather says Simmons has been working out primarily in Miami and has regained his athleticism.
That's fantastic.
But here's my question:
WHAT DOES “REGAINED HIS ATHLETICISM” ACTUALLY MEAN?!
Can he run up the court without needing a congressional investigation?
Can he jump without his back sending a resignation letter?
Can he finish at the rim?
Can he shoot a basketball?
Wait...
Let's not get crazy.
One miracle at a time!
Because this is Ben Simmons we're talking about.
At his peak, the guy was an absolute freak.
He was 6-foot-10, could handle the basketball, defend multiple positions, run the offense and get to the basket.
Then somewhere along the way, basketball became the one thing Ben Simmons didn't want to do.
The man could be standing underneath the basket with nobody within 15 feet of him and still look at the rim like:
“Nah, I'm good.”
And now we're supposed to believe he's BACK?!
I LOVE IT!
I'M HERE FOR IT!
Because if Ben Simmons really is healthy, the NBA just got a very interesting player back.
But I'm not ready to start planning the championship parade yet.
Let's see him play.
Let's see him survive training camp.
Let's see him play 10 games.
Then we'll talk.
Because I've seen this movie before.
Every offseason:
“BEN SIMMONS IS HEALTHY!”
Then the season starts:
“BEN SIMMONS IS EXPERIENCING DISCOMFORT.”
Then three weeks later:
“BEN SIMMONS WILL BE EVALUATED.”
Then we're all sitting there wondering if the man is playing basketball or preparing for a career in international diplomacy.
Now Simmons reportedly has interest from multiple NBA teams.
And if he's truly healthy, I can understand why.
Because the talent was NEVER the question.
The talent was ridiculous.
A healthy Ben Simmons can defend.
He can rebound.
He can push the ball.
He can create for teammates.
He can run an offense.
He can make life miserable for opposing guards.
And if — AND I SAID IF — he's actually close to the athlete he once was?
That's a very interesting player.
Minnesota could make sense.
Cleveland could make sense.
And yes...
PHILADELPHIA.
THE SIXERS.
A REUNION!
Because apparently Philadelphia hasn't suffered enough.
Imagine Joel Embiid walking into the locker room and seeing Ben Simmons standing there.
Embiid:
“Oh, we're doing THIS again?”
And somewhere in Philadelphia, an Eagles fan is probably asking:
“Can we get the guy who traded Simmons fired again?”
But here's the funniest part.
They're saying Ben Simmons could potentially fill a role similar to LeBron James when LeBron isn't on the floor.
BEN SIMMONS?!
LEBRON?!
That's like saying:
“Don't worry, we couldn't get Tom Brady, but we've got the guy who owns the local flag-football team.”
Relax!
I'm not saying Simmons can't help.
I'm saying let's pump the brakes before we start comparing him to LeBron.
The biggest question isn't whether Ben Simmons CAN play basketball.
We KNOW he can.
The question is:
CAN HIS BODY LET HIM PLAY BASKETBALL CONSISTENTLY?
That's the whole story.
Because if Simmons really has regained his athleticism, stays healthy and actually plays with confidence, somebody could get a hell of a basketball player.
But if we're about to get another season of:
“Ben is feeling good.”
“Ben is progressing.”
“Ben is ramping up.”
“Ben is day-to-day.”
“Ben is being evaluated.”
Then I'm going to need somebody to explain why this man has had more updates than an iPhone.
And now he's reportedly preparing to play for Australia at the 2028 Olympics with ZERO RESTRICTIONS.
ZERO?!
That's the word that got my attention.
Because Ben Simmons with zero restrictions?
That's not a comeback.
That's a Netflix documentary waiting to happen.
I'm rooting for the guy.
I really am.
Because when Ben Simmons was healthy and confident, he was one of the most unique players in basketball.
But Ben...
Before you start talking about the Olympics...
Before you start talking about NBA contenders...
Before teams start throwing contracts at you...
PLEASE JUST PLAY BASKETBALL.
Give us 60 games.
Give us defense.
Give us transition buckets.
Give us playmaking.
And for the love of God...
IF YOU'RE UNDER THE BASKET WITH AN OPEN LAYUP...
SHOOT THE DAMN BALL!
Because if Ben Simmons really has regained his athleticism, the NBA might have just gotten one of its most entertaining comeback stories.
And if he hasn't?
Well...
I'M SURE HIS ATHLETICISM WILL BE RE-EVALUATED.
That's the Ben Simmons experience!
I'm Errol Marks.
This is NYS Sports Loud Mouth.
And apparently...
BEN SIMMONS IS BACK, BABY!
Somebody hide the injury report.